SHEILA O'NEILL | Funeral – Oct. 13, 2017

Sheila Marlin O'Neill
1939-2017

Watford, UK, Oct. 13, 2017 – My sister Sheila's Funeral Mass was held today at St Saviour's Roman Catholic Church in Abbots Langley, Watford, Herts., UK – 17 miles northwest of London.


Father Richard officiated at the Mass and the Committal at the Crematorium.

Fr Richard Says Mass at St Saviour's.

Sheila attended the church while she was alive. 

She lived nearby at High Elms Manor.

She founded and was Principal of the High Elms Manor Montessori School. 

When she was considering buying the run-down manor, anyone with any familiarity with property management had the same negative reaction (the roof had long been leaking in many places, for example).

Sheila persisted, rounded up support from several reluctant sources including family, and bought it. Over the next two decades she has transformed it and left an astonishing legacy for the community.

Fr Richard prays for the soul of Sheila O'Neill.  Photos by JT Marlin.

Fr Richard closes inside and outer curtains at
the Crematorium. Goodbye Sheila, and to 72
 years of there being six living Marlin children.

Sheila's four daughters largely took over the school before she died, and also put the Manor to work as a location for conferences, weddings, film sets and other events. 

The transition was prompted by, and the subject of, episodes of a television series, "Country House Rescue," produced by Ruth Watson.

Despite the fact that Sheila had spent more on repairing and renovating High Elms Manor than she spent on purchasing it, Watson's advice was to spend even more, and she and her daughters did just that. The result is a gem of a school and community center.

Alan Jones and his wife (L) and Brigid (R).

The Funeral Mass began with readings by Sheila's grandchildren Zodiac Willoughby-O'Neill and Marnie Hilton-O'Neill. (A family tree that shows all seven grandchildren is here.) 

Randal (back to camera), Cliff and Lis.

The first reading was the second letter of St Paul to Timothy 4:6-8, followed by the favorite hymn, "The Lord's My Shepherd" and a reading from John's Gospel, 14:1-6.

L to R: Marnie (Roisin's eldest child)
and Phoenix (Catrine's older child).
Catrine is in back between them.

The Offertory hymn was "Jerusalem" and the recessional hymn was "This Little Light of Mine."

At the church Sheila's daughters – Roisin, Catrine, Liadain and Ailise – each read out a eulogy and at the Crematorium they read poems.

L to R: Zodiac Willoughby-O’Neill,Cian Hilton-O'Neill, Fin Hilton-O’Neill, Oscar Blanchard-O’Neill, Max Northcott. Back to camera: Brigid Marlin. Photo by JT Marlin.

At the Crematorium, Sheila's granddaughter Phoenix sang a song by Sarah McLachlan, accompanied by Jonathan Willoughby on the guitar.

Vojislav Mihailovic (friend of Sheila's
late husband Shane) and Chris Oakley.

Elaine (Randal's wife) and John.

Four of Sheila's five siblings were able to attend the funeral – Brigid, Randal (from Ottawa), John (from New York) and Lis. Olga, the eldest, was not able to travel from Kenya.

Sheila had many talents, more than she could fully utilize.

Three of the many pupils at the funeral
from the High Elms Montessori School.

Her thoughtful and well-constructed poem, "Look to the Stars," read by Liadain, describes her feelings near the end of her life when she was letting go of her attachments to the world she was leaving:

Look to the Stars

In letting go,
I have set myself free.
I ask, want for, nothing
You no longer hold me.

It's over, I'm content
Knowing you still breathe the air,
Enriching the universe
By just being there.

Stay soft and with compassion, remember me
Vulnerable, I carry the scars
Of earth, as pain and longing linger.
So – I will look to the stars!

And live on in the heavens
Where joy triumphs and reigns
With a love as pure as the angels.
There I will find you again.

Sheila's third book,
about Jacob the Goose.

At the reception at High Elms Manor, a copy of Sheila's third book, Jacob: The Famous Goose of the 2nd Battalion Coldstream Guards, was waiting as a gift for everyone who came to the funeral.

Many of those who attended remembered me from the previous funeral at High Elms Manor, for my mother Hilda van Stockum.

Alex Mihailovic and Judy Vickery, at

the reception at High Elms Manor.

Among those was Judy Vickrey, who was a regular participant in the Friday noontime Writers Group that gathered in the HvS home.

L to R: Janet and brother Jonathan
Willoughby.

The group now convenes high up on the same street in Berkhamsted, at Brigid's house.

News Stories: Sheila's Retirement . Sheila's Death.

Other Posts: Sheila Marlin O'Neill, R.I.P.

Index by Name:

Abbots Langley

Blanchard-O’Neill, Oscar

Coldstream Guards

High Elms Manor

High Elms Montessori School

Hilton-O'Neill, Cian

Hilton-O’Neill, Fin

Jacob the Famous Goose

Marlin, Brigid

Marlin, Elaine O’Brien

Marlin, John Tepper

Marlin, Olga

Marlin, Randal

Marlin, Sheila

Mihailovic, Alex

Mihailovic, Angela

Mihailovic, Vojislav

Northcott, Max

O'Neill, Ailise

O'Neill, Catrine

O'Neill, Liadain

O'Neill, Roisin

O’Neill, Sheila Marlin

Paice, Cliff

Paice, Lis

St Saviour’s Church

van Stockum, Hilda

Vickery, Judy

Willoughby-O’Neill, Zodiac

Willoughby, Janet

Willoughby, Jonathan

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SHEILA O'NEILL | Her Daughters and Grands

L to R: Liadain (Lili), Ailise, Catrine and Roisin
O'Neill, at Catrine's famed pink wedding, July 18, 1992.

October 4, 2017–Sheila Marlin O'Neill (1939-2017) is the first of the six children of Hilda van Stockum and Spike Marlin to join her parents in the next life.

She was the third daughter in the family, sandwiched between the two boys – a rose between two thorns.

In The Mitchells trilogy, Sheila's fictionalized name was Angela.

Sheila's 23-acre 63-room High Elms Manor and school in Garston, Herts., was the focus of a Ruth Watson Country House Rescue series, largely about how the upkeep of the large estate could be made sustainable, i.e., generate enough money to pay for the cost of maintaining it.

Front row,  L to R: Catrine, Lili and a Friend.
Second row, L to R: Alice, Roisin, Sheila.

High Elms Manor developed new events and programs with the help of Sheila's four daughters.

The plan worked and the Manor and Manor Montessori School have been spruced up. I was impressed with what had been done there last year when I was there.

Sheila is now gone, and the daughters are in charge of the funeral for their mother. It will be on October 13. I plan to be there with three other siblings, Sheila's four daughters and seven grandchildren. For those attending the funeral or trying to keep track of the family from a distance, I have prepared he following simplified family tree as a start on appreciating this fruitful branch of the Marlin family.

Death Notice, October 4, 2017, Hemel Hempstead Gazette. 

O'Neill, Sheila. Passed away on 25th September 2017, aged 77 years. Principal of Marlin Montessori School, Berkhamsted, Herts. Funeral service to take place on Friday 13th October at 1.30 pm at St Saviour's Church, Abbots Langley, followed by a committal at West Herts Crematorium at 3.20 pm. 

Flowers may be sent to: High Elms Manor, High Elms Lane, Watford, Hertfordshire WD25 0JX, UK. Phone: +44 1923 663875.

If you would like to donate to the family's chosen charity please write a cheque to Save The Children and post it to the funeral director's address: James Peddle Ltd., 10 Moneyhill Parade,  Uxbridge Road,  Rickmansworth WD3 7BE.

See also: Visit to Watford . Sheila's Death

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SHEILA MARLIN O'NEILL | R.I.P., Sept. 25, 2017 (Condolences)

Sheila with Trusty,
Montreal, 1951.

September 26, 2017 – Sheila Marlin O'Neill, the youngest of my three older sisters, died at 8:30 pm yesterday at the Peace Hospice in Watford, England. It was a month before her 78th birthday.

A funeral service is planned in Watford for Friday, October 13.

Shane O'Neill and Sheila Marlin at their
wedding.

Sheila was the calm center of us six children. As her siblings were bent on shorter-term quests of various kinds, she made long-term plans, and she carried them out.

For many years she headed a group of Montessori Schools in the Watford and Berkhamsted areas of Hertfordshire. At one time there were eleven schools. 

The High Elms Montessori School, near Watford has been operating in a building on the 23-acre High Elms Manor where she has lived for many years. 

In July 2017, she retired because of ill health from teaching and educational administration after a career spanning 50 years.

She was well enough to see visitors just five days before she died.

L to R: Lis, Sheila, Art O'Murnaghan (1875-
1953), Brigid, John. Ireland, 1952.

She was, like her mother and older sister Brigid, a writer as well as an artist. 

In her later years she became a proficient author and illustrator of books for children, typically involving animals such as seals or a goose.

Sheila is the first of the six children of Hilda van Stockum to join her parents in the next life. She is survived by her four daughters Roisin, Catrine, Liadain (Lili) and Ailise, and seven grandchildren. Her late husband Shane O'Neill, who grew up in Waterford, Ireland attended Trinity College Dublin with the late Ben Oakley, who married Sheila's sister Brigid. 

Notes of Sympathy

Olga Marlin, Nairobi, Kenya. Photo by
Lis Paice, October 6, 2017.

Sept. 26, Olga (Sister, in Nairobi): I have just opened my mail to find John's message, followed by all of yours.

Dear little Sheila – I have been praying so much for her – that God take her straight to Heaven. It is a great comfort to know that the priest was there to give her the Anointing of the Sick. Masses will be celebrated for her here: three in my Centre, Samara.

We shall miss her!

My special love to all at this difficult moment, with a big hug to each from Olga.

L to R: Sheila, Brigid, Lis.

Sept. 26, Alice (Sister-in-Law, in Geneva): Sheila worked so hard and lovingly for her family, caring for daughters and grandchildren. 

She reaped a precious reward: her daughters, Brigid and Lis were with her almost constantly near the end.

Sheila was always grateful for even the smallest attention. I am sure your presence and the prayers of the siblings unable to be at her side meant the world to her.

John and I are grateful to have had a bit of time with her recently.
She bore the painful curse of cancer so bravely. Warm smiles and appreciation even over that.

We shall all miss her. Love to all, Alice

Sept. 26, Jay (Nephew, in New York): Her laugh, her smile, her concentration while painting, all the big family meals, and skits, or just hanging out with everyone enjoying a sunny day will always be remembered. Condolences to all. Love, Jay

See also: Visit to Watford . Daughters and Grands

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SHEILA O'NEILL | Visit in Watford, Sept. 20

L to R: Sheila, Brigid, Alice and Chris (Brigid's
son). Photo by JT Marlin.

Sept. 22, 2017 – My sister Sheila Marlin O'Neill retired in July for health reasons as Principal of the High Elms Manor Montessori School.

This was after 50 years of teaching and educational administration. High Elms Manor is in Garston, near Watford.

She is now being well looked after at the hospital in Watford. Her four daughters Roisin, Catrine, Lili and Ailise visit her in turns.

Alice and I went with Brigid and her son Chris on Wednesday (visiting hours are from 4 pm), and arrived as Sheila's youngest daughter Ailise was leaving.

L to R: Sheila, Brigid and John, three of the six children
of Spike and Hilda van Stockum Marlin. (Photo by
Alice Tepper Marlin, five days before Sheila died.)

Sheila asked us: "Tell me stories."

Sheila and her daughters had their 15+ minutes of fame six years ago as they and their home, High Elms Manor, were the subject of episodes of Country House Rescue, the popular British television show.

The family received great compliments from the show's host, Ruth Watson. She said that no other country house rescuers had been so responsive to her suggestions.

Postscript: Sheila died on September 25. 

Newspaper Stories: Sheila's Retirement . Sheila's Death.

Other Posts: Sheila Marlin O'Neill, R.I.P. . Sheila's Daughters and Grands . Sheila's Funeral

I am told that to comment on this post now seems to require a Google account and password etc. I'm really sorry about that. If you wish to send a correction or comment, please write to the blogger at teppermarlin[at]aol.com. I have substituted [at] for @ to thwart bots that look for email addresses embedded in messages.

HvS | RHA Exhibitions, 1990-2000

Visit at High Elms Manor yesterday.
L to R: John Tepper Marlin, Sheila
Marlin O'Neill, Brigid Marlin Oakley.
Photo by Alice Tepper Marlin.

Yesterday my sister Brigid and I visited with our sister Sheila at High Elms Manor, Watford, Herts. My wife Alice and nephew Chris were also on the visit and their photos appear in another post.

Sheila passed on to me copies of several Royal Hibernian Academy of Arts exhibition catalogs for the year 1990-2000 that contain references to the art of our mother Hilda van Stockum, HRHA (1908-2006).

I have started below a list of the art at the RHA exhibitions, with thumbnail photos by permission of the Estate of Hilda van Stockum, as a step toward the day when someone might prepare a more ambitious lifetime catalog of HvS art.

Our Dad, E. R. (Spike) Marlin (1909-1994), personally supervised the crating and delivery of art each year until he died in 1994. After that the Exhibition became a joint effort, as I understand it, of HvS and her two artist daughters Brigid Marlin and Sheila Marlin O'Neill. Maybe they will add to this post over time, as will I. If you have additions or corrections, or can add the current location of any piece of art, please send this information to me at teppermarlin@aol.com.

HvS, Bottles and Glasses,
RHA 1990.

RHA 1990 
160th Exhibition, April 24-May 26

410. Heather and Winter Jasmine

        Oil
        16x19.5"
        IR£2,300

411. Bottles and Glasses (Photo at right)

        Oil
        20.5x15.5
        IR£2,500

412. Apples and Copper Kettle

        Oil
        20x23.5
        IR£2,500

HvS, Orchids and
Jasmine, RHA 1991.

RHA 1991
161st Exhibition, April 30-May 25

508. Icelandic Poppies
        Oil
        13x15"
        IR£1,800
509. Orchids and Jasmine (Photo at right)
        Oil
        25x18"
        IR£3,800 (Photo at left)
510. Three Bottles
        Oil
        17x13"
        IR£3,000

RHA 1992 
162nd Exhibition, April 29-May 23

490. Old Dutch Coffee Pot and Pears

HvS, Tomatoes and Crackle-
Glazed Vase, RHA 1992.

        Oil
        17x21", IR£3,000

491. Red Pears in Copper Pan
        Oil
        12x14", IR £3,000

492. Tomatoes and Crackle-Glazed Vase (Photo at right)
        Oil
        19x29", IR£4,800

RHA 1993
163rd Exhibition, April 27-May 22

393. Fruit Bowl and Tankard (Photo at right)

HvS, Fruit Bowl and Tankard,
RHA 1993.

        Oil

        15x15.25"

        IR£2,500

394. Canterbury Bells

        Oil

        15x12"

        IR£1,500

395. Copper Kettle and Apples

        Oil

        14x18"

        IR£2,300

RHA 1996
166th Exhibition, April 23-May 18

456. Brass Kettle, Cup and Jug (Photo at right)

HvS, Brass Kettle, Cup and Jug,
RHA 1996.

        Oil
        27x22"
        IR£2,000
457. Rose Bowl with Flowers
        Oil
        19.5x18"
        £IR1,600
458. Peaches in China Bowl
        Oil
        25.5x21"
        IR£2,000
459. Copper Bowl with Apple

        Oil

        19.5x18"
        IR£1,600

In his review of the 166th Exhibition, Brian Fallon in The Irish Times says that Hilda van Stockum "still rules the field in still life" (see clip at right).

RHA 2000
170th Exhibition, April 11-May 13

HvS, Still Life with Apples, 
RHA 2000.

394. Still Life with Crystal Vase

        Oil on gesso paper

        22x15"

        IR£1,000

395. Still Life with Apples (Photo at right)

        Oil on gesso paper

        16x23.5"

        IR£1,000